My mother is dying. There are shuffling noises overhead coming from her bedroom. She has cancer, and her death is imminent. I am her only child. We never liked each other.
I stare out the window at my large backyard covered in a crust of ice.
The bird feeder is nearly empty. I know I must replenish it, but I can’t command my body to move.
Before my seventy year-old mother moved in, I thought I’d continue working and hire a nurse to care for her. I wavered. In the back of my head I wondered if we might find an emotional connection before it was too late. In the end, I convinced the senior partners’ at my law firm that it would be better to work at home for a while and take care of her myself.
Now I see my wish to wring more from our relationship as foolhardy. It’s elusive, like an important thought I can’t recall that hovers in the back of my mind. Now I just want to get through this miserable time and have it end. I’m so tired my teeth ache.
Continue reading “My Inheritance”
13. OBSERVE: In our everyday living we are often stressed and so much goes right by us. Sometimes even a very insignificant, ordinary moment may be a seed for ideas. Capture it, study it and see what comes out. Observe people, read, watch films and selective TV shows. Examine how the stories are plotted and what the themes are if you are interested in writing. If interested in the arts, watch body language and facial expressions. Take notice of their surroundings. How do the characters interact on a personal level? Life is stranger than fiction, and these stories are based on reality but exaggerated for effect.
14. STIMULATE: Your brain loves seeing new things so don’t limit it. Stimulate your mind by going to happenings at art galleries even if the works are not to your liking. Horror movies, anyone? (I personally can’t tolerate them) but it is eye opening. Perhaps visit comedy clubs, see foreign movies, documentaries and anything that has not been in your scope before. Do the same with your ears and listen to music you might not ordinarily be attracted to, but it might stir up new horizons.
15. THE SENSES: Think about all the senses – touch, sight, hearing, taste, and smell. Give them their due. It is here that an opportunity exists for new experiences that we might have overlooked before. By making ourselves acutely aware of our surroundings and utilizing the senses, we can unleash an entire world. Does the smell of soup cooking take you on a journey to the past? Does touching sandpaper take you back to when you helped your father fix something? Utilize the senses to unlock hidden memories or use as an introduction to a new sensation. Bells may go off in your head. It will be like a breath of fresh air wafting or soft breezes caressing out cheeks.
“AN ESSENTIAL ASPECT OF CREATIVITY IS NOT BEING AFRAID TO FAIL” —- Edwin Land
Images created by Cayla Belser